Resolving to Resolve my Resolutions – or – “How I quit quitting”

For the third time in as many years, the month of January will be a dry one for this hombre.

Full disclosure.  I had a Trappistes Rochefort 10 one night.  Just one.  My fiance Stacey was drinking the last Anchor Porter that I had left over from Christmas and I knew there was a Rochefort 10 left as well.  I am only human.

Oh yeah, and one night Kevin O’Conner knocked on my door with a bottle of 1998 Gosset Celebris. CELEBRIS!  I can’t let that be quaffed right in front of my face without having a little of it.  He was moving to New Zealand for two years for gods sake. I am only Human.

The predominate reason this picture sucks is that it was taken with my iPhone 3G. The ancillary reason? My shite photography skills.


And there was also that time when I was making some homemade Dijon style mustard.  The recipe called for two cups of dry white wine, so I bought a bottle of nice, inexpensive South African Chenin Blanc, 2009 Porter Mill Station to be specific.  When I was finished making the mustard there was still a half bottle left.  What am I supposed to do?  Just throw it out?  That is just a waste!  I can’t stand wasteful people, therefore, I can’t do that.  I’ll just have one glass… or, I could just drink it from the bottle while blasting Hair Metal and pumping my fist in the air.  What’s the date again?  January 13th you say?  Hmph… get off my back, I AM ONLY HU… ahh to hell with it….

Here are some tasting notes for my sinful “cheats”.

Rochefort 10 – As it should be!  All spiced dry fig and hints of coffee.  Not so much espresso but drip coffee.  When your alcohol content is coming in at 9-10% percent you need a skilled hand to craft a beer of balance, and while you do recognize that this is a strong beer, it is silky smooth when held to the standard of most super high octane brews.  Fantastic.

Guilt Level – Moderate – You can’t drink one of my all time favorite beers (Anchor Porter) in front of me and not expect me to crack open something for myself.  That would be like putting a huge bag of Wendy’s in front of a drunken David Hasslehoff and saying, “eat slowly… and don’t embarrass yourself.”

1998 Vintage Gosset Celebris – Are you kidding?  Terrific.  At 12 years old this Vintage was still showing powerful acidity which gave it a clear citrus front end that was backed up by a baked peach pastry. I am very partial to this style of wine and Gosset in particular.  My first really good Champagne was Gosset NV Grande Reserve and like a first born child, it can do no wrong in my eyes.

Guilt Level – Non-Existent –  If someone puts a bottle of some of the world’s best wine in front of your face and says, “drink it”.  You drink it.  You don’t ask questions.  Especially if that wine came from his/her cellar.  I feel no guilt about this, only pride.

2009 Porter Mill Station, South African Chenin Blanc – The wine was perfect for the mustard.  A very dry Chenin, especially considering its warm home.  Pleasant citrus and pineapple notes are the predominate characteristic of this wine and at the very low price tag it shows above its price point even though it isn’t a knockout.

Guilt Level – Stratospheric – Using cooking as an excuse to down a half bottle of inexpensive wine during your “dry” month is a powerful vehicle for guilt.  I felt like I had just lined up a bunch of newborn puppies and then kicked them in their puppy faces.  Right guilty.  Don’t worry, I’ll get over it.

I would like to wish all of you the best of luck with your resolutions this year. Whether you are trying to swear less, or workout more, or maybe  just curb the frequency of your most prevalent vice, let me motivate you with these sage words…

“It will all be over in two weeks!”




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